P.S. I called them, a bit curious as to what was going on, as 3AM calls to the neurologist rarely come from the SICU. This happened in med school. A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for, and we talk at length about the procedure. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. It says plain on the package, it tastes plain, it's plain.We send the doctor in to see her after briefing him on the whole story about the oatmeal. The surgeon mumbled, “Yes. ", Then, there's the 17-year-old patient who acted like the recovery room was a frat party. Scoped a guy with knee pain - the joint looked perfect. She somehow managed to get an audience with the Dalai Lama who told her to go back to western treatment. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn't matter "because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it throughly after every use." Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. When the doctor was explaining to the mom that her son had to wear his glasses all the time since he's nearsighted and basically can't see clearly past 5' in front of him. I mean, that antiseptic smell, the silence (of the lambs) of the waiting room except for the odd groan and sniffle, the weird sounds your doctor makes while assessing the situation and most of all the unpleasant procedures. Then he bent over and smelled my head (I'll never forget that. It said feet elevated!”, Patient comes in with abdominal pain. It's hard being a woman. There was one who was very upset to find out that she was pregnant again because she'd used her diaphragm EXACTLY as she'd been told. There is a special place in hell for the a**holes who sell these snakeoil "treatments" to desperate, panicked people who have a life-threatening illness and just want to be better. Not a doctor but I'm a nurse who worked in the OR at a trauma center. "I had an eye surgery to fix a scarred retina. Looking, looking. 911 dispatch call that was transferred to EMS service. The Stupidest Thing People Say about Diet and Exercise. Apparently the cook had convinced him that eating raw corn was poisonous or something. What is it with people who don't notice their uvulas? I hope I'm not too late. Very cut class accent. Patient: Drugs! right before she fell asleep. Scoped a guy with knee pain - the joint looked perfect. One Redditor shared another story that highlights the importance of clear communication, particularly when discussing medical procedures. It did stop for a while when she was pregnant. Just got this story from my girlfriend’s step-dad who is a neurosurgeon. Friend of mine is a doctor. I mention this, to which they reply "yeah but it grew back. They proceeded to ask questions on how it was transmitted. But you need to pay a couple of thousand dollars up front. I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. It wasn't one of my finer experiences at the doctor. '”, This Guy Did a Year-Long Pushup Challenge, Dr. Sanjay Gupta's Best Tips for Brain Health, How Taking Up Running Kept Me Sane in 2020, Tanner Buchanan Talks 'Cobra Kai' Season 3. Understandably, family members love to retell that story. They did not understand why we were giving "salt water" to her.Conversation with her son:"Look she likes gatorade, she is drinking it so why cant you give it to her through her drip? I was intubated for a severe attack a few times. I'm not a doctor, but I'm an ER nurse. Can you give him something right now to make him taller?". She had a cane in her hand that she was carrying like as a solider would carry a rifle. yes... ask the guy who try to cure his cancer with vegetable, The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from inflammation of the cervix. During the procedure the doc kept referring to my member as Mr. how can people be so dumb? We pulled up her profile and realized we couldn't refill it because she just got a 28-day fill less than 2 weeks ago. No serious medical problems and she was very fit. Me: Years? Was at a urologist in a hospital and there were a couple of power cuts. I have a ganglion cyst on the inside of my wrist, when it starts getting large I smash my wrist down on a hard table and it goes away. For some reason every-time I checked her, her levels would be extremely high although we were appropriately treating her. The story was even told at her funeral," the Redditor explained. Apparently, both her and her boyfriend were each taking a pill each and was adamant that was how they needed to prevent pregnancy. ''But we open windows and have stopped smoking in her room when we put her to bed! Trying not to burst out laughing, I said "Your daughter's scrotum?" As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky.“You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly.“Third husband?” I asked. I work for an optometrist and it was the month before school started and a woman brought in her son to have his eyes checked for the first time. It’s coffee! For some reason this caused a switch to flip in the mom and she spazzed out on the doctor, saying that her son doesn't need glasses and that the doctor is only saying that he does because he wants to sell glasses. Sorry couldn't resist. I always needed a strong coffee after her. "But its isotonic. Click here to view. I had a Marine come in because he swallowed a rock. They genuinely thought it was a good idea to go to accident and emergency to have their fake nails taken off and redone because they had gotten too long and become uncomfortable. No, There Isn't a '5G Chip' in the COVID Vaccine, 5 Hypnosis Apps to Help You With Any Problem, Call Your Doctor If You Have Any Of These Symptoms. Mom told me the story, and how she had previously asked him to not itch himself with other things of hers. I asked what she meant when she said he washes it after every use. Not KY jelly. While I am a doctor, this happened to my wife, also a doctor. "The dude was having seizures, and thought that they were heart attacks. I’m reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses. My wife has works in a gyno and has told me of many patients trying to get pregnant who needed to be told what went where, specifically that the anus is not a baby-maker. He reportedly was using it to reach an itch. Looking over their chart, I see their gallbladder was removed 20 years ago so that is impossible. The stupidest thing I've been to the doctor for: I took my young son in because he had a very regular rash on his lower back. : I wonder, do doctors themselves also hate going to a physician? I was the expert on sex, as I … ""I don't ever remember them. Amputations might have indeed 'ran' in the family if they all had the same health habits, or lack thereof... Im ashamed to say I have a story that fits here. However, as far as the potential for awkward situations goes, going to the doc's can be comedy gold. At least he cared. On further question it transpired that four times a day he was spraying the dogs coat with the ventolin inhaler. His wife, I guess oblivious to all this, was just dancing in the pee. Go to the dentist to get some X-rays annnnd it turns out to be a piece of a tortilla chip. I'm guessing no one ever told them where babies come from. I work in the ER. and meditation. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. That's right, that's in an episode of House MD. I had him open his mouth, saw nothing. Both virgins untill married at 26 and 27. See the funny things people said after waking up from anesthesia. Someone on Reddit asked, "Anesthesiologists, what are the best things people have said under the gas?" She had complained of feeling tingly and having a dry mouth prior to passing out.The doctor sat the husband down and they did a history. You’ve been very helpful. When my parents showed up, he asked point blank, 'Did you not understand what I told you last time? Yeah, anybody can be a plastic surgeon! Not a doctor, dental hygienist...Had to explain that brushing your teeth with Comet ( the cleaner ) was not a good way to clean your teeth to a 40 year old woman.Also had to tell a woman that painting her teeth with white finger nail polish was a bad idea. Most of these a a fiery statement for decent sex ed!! “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom.“Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. She gagged, we removed the tube, she smacked her lips and said loudly, in her incredible accent:'That's the best bit of cock I have had in years! When my wife tried to explain that conception requires sperm (sourced from a male) as well as an egg, the pt was incredulous, and exclaimed that she "didn't need a man in my life" and she didn't like being judged. Or when they do go, do they share the funny stories? No it does not.Made for an awkwardly silent ride the rest of the way. A grown woman, with a child, thought that by him having sex, his acne would magically go away.. My mum once had to try explain to a doctor that regardless of tests she has celiacs because google said that if you have celiacs you get sick when eating bread, she just wouldn't accept that as you get older you can't eat half a loaf of bread in one sitting. The "sickness" people develop is called withdrawal. They insisted that the vibratory frequency can be tuned to destroy cancer cells, just like a trained singer may be able to use her voice to break a crystal glass. That's bad education. No wonder my hammer trick didn't work. Oct 18, 2017 - Explore Leena Korgaonkar's board "anaesthesia jokes" on Pinterest. I'll start... A couple of weeks ago I had foot surgery and had to be put under. I was a newly minted graduate with fresh and optimistic views on my life as a doctor. Old joke. Was doing surgery on a 19 year old who tested positive for meth and cocaine who was grilling the anesthesiologist about every drug we were going to use in surgery because "he doesn't like putting chemicals in his body"Gotta stick with that organic, fair trade, Non-GMO cocaine. well, you FOUND a tube of blood... somehow... One of my 5 patients tonight keeps yelling maybe once every 2 minutes, going "OWWWWWW!!!" Her mom asked me to adjust her scrotum. To get you in the skinny-dipping spirit, we’ve rounded up some skinny-dipping stories from Reddit. He gets up and walks out to check on things.Fifteen minutes later I'm still sat on the bed with my old chap out and pants around my ankles. We may earn a commission through links on our site. I then get really confused and tired afterwards, and I can't remember much of anything that happens to me until I take a nice long nap. 10. “Are you ready for this?”. ", 'Put him back- he doesn't go outside often' lol, "I have the Ebola". Do you understand these attacks could be fatal? Not a doctor but a nurse. The patient basically burnt his tongue but was insisting on a X-ray to ensure nothing is wrong. “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. I was a little relieved to learn there were other stories on par with my own. Me: How long ago? He's been married 12 years. I got drunk just standing next to him. A few minutes in he starts complaining that he's thirsty. And apparently she really enjoyed them as she ate quite a few.They then had to sit down and tell this elderly lady that she was not dying, and that she was in fact stoned!Fortunately she was still high enough to see the humour. My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. Often these aren't passing comments during the exam, but the main reason for their visit to the clinic. It was unfortunate. “Fleet enema. “Were you wearing them at the time?”. Turns out she didn't know plain rolled oats were a thing. She said her last period was "like ten months ago" so she'd gone through menopause. When she turned to her side, stool the size and shape of a small baby or big burrito slid out and I caught it. Not a doctor but I'm a nurse who worked in the OR at a trauma center. On Reddit, a user asked anesthesiologists to post the funniest things people have said while under gas. sex ed is very crucial - PPL NEED TO LEARN IT. Might be late to this, but a 17 year old girl who was pregnant and came into the emergency department to get checked as she was punched in the stomach. An older lady was brought into the ED barely conscious by her husband. To be fair, the doctor's question wasn't correctly phrased for the intent. I gave him ketamine for a fracture reduction, or in other words setting and splinting of a broken bone. Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself. NO WATER! I was reaching around in someone's sheets for a lost tube of blood and accidentally grabbed his (erect?!) She says that she only brought her son in because there was some form for school that needed to be filled out and that doctors are all a con artists trying to push unnecessary medications and interventions. Anyway the anaesthetist comes into the anaesthetic room morning and asks me not to ask the patient about allergies, I'm puzzled at this and ask her why, the patient was allergic to oxygen. Obviously at that age and dealing with all that shit you feel weird so when the doctor only said "cough" I mustered up a big one and was prepared to fire when he suddenly interrupts me with these words of wisdom "Son, when a man has your balls in his hand you don't cough in his face.". There was a nursing student I had once who laughed loudly and exclaimed 'How can you possibly get an STD in your mouth?' Turns out his girlfriend was giving him her female hormonal birth control pills for “extra protection”. Sad. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Do you have any medical conditions? “How many have you had?” “Two.”. Did not believe me. Second week in came this old lady and her very dysfunctional family.They would argue and complain about everything, from the food, the nurses they didnt like and every single medical decision we made. I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. 38. Farted on my doctor's hand just as she finished a prostate exam. From hilariously misinformed patients to doctors with a wickedly dry sense of humor, we at Bored Panda had compiled a list of short stories when doctor/patient interactions were just too funny. Do you have any sores or anything?" She explained that he washed the condom with hot water and soap before he used said condom again.. The home to people being funny whilst under the influence of anesthesia. That the 30+ cups of coffee he was drinking every day could possibly be the cause of his chief complaints of anxiety and insomnia. I feel like our doctors should not assists those couples to have children.If you can not figure out how sex works, dont raise children thx. my wife is a nurse and she see so many of these nuts. 08, 2019 Note to staff: One Direction breaking up is NOT a valid reason to call in sick. Of course.) You can read more about it and change your preferences. They couple came back one more time to say "THANK YOU!!!!!" The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from inflammation of the cervix. “Just go back to sleep.” Yehudi is the name of my dog. If you can't stop making them cry, make them laugh. I had a guy with an ICD in place. Was doing varicose veins surgery on a very posh middle aged lady. And yes flossing is not just a thing for rich people. Not a doctor but work in pharmacy. I admitted a guy for pneumonia, which was odd because he was young and strapping, no other medical issues, x-ray didn't look quite right. She just thought she should get checked out. Had a female patient. This happened in med school. That has electrolytes? It was his uvula. Oh, wait, our insurance companies do that, too. Please enter your email to complete registration. 70 yo female tripped and fell 2 days ago. I mean, that's more than a cup of coffee per waking hour. Funny Things To Say Right Before Anesthesia Kicks In (Reddit Stories r/AskReddit) Post By PKFever July 4, 2019 No Comments Share Share Follow Tweet Share Email If you don't love your child enough to say no, why have children? I had severe asthma as a kid. And even though these drugs are commonplace, there are still several facts about them that may surprise you. Is Calling Larger Bodies 'Healthy' Irresponsible? My patient announced she had good news … and bad. A related story from my friend, a Gynecologic Oncologist. Patient: I’m sorry to have so many questions. Probably the most pleasant emergency waiting room experience anyone has ever had. "Patient: "Well I don't wanna be here. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Awesome.A year later she shows up for her doctor's appointment, and she's morbidly obese. I am an ER doc. "We explain again. I am a family practitioner and I had a family not want to vaccinate their newborn because they heard that vaccines were derived from monkeys brains and they didn't want their child to develop monkey like characteristics. I asked him what was the problem. Me: Where did you get hurt? NO WATER! He worked a lot in very conservative Christian communities and so a lot of times people got married with no sex education. Your account is not active. Proceeds to name at least 10 medications. I had a patient in her 30s complain of monthly rectal bleeding that would last 4-6 days and stop on its own. "Nurse: "Where? I am not a doctor, but I do work at a doctor's office.So a person came in with conjunctivitis. They ran a couple tests, and everything was coming up normal. I was exhausted. As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. He needed medical attention ... from the psychiatrist! As a self-diagnosing patient...One day notice a white, hard, jagged object protruding from my back gum. I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks. "Me too, lady. After convincing thr doctor that's what he was actually there for, we told him to go take a shower and try different shampoo :( its sad how little some people know about diabetes. Med school is for losers! I'm a rural family doc doing locums and was working at a city family practice clinic when I saw this patient. When i was a kid i never eat oatmeal. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. Lol, why do people think that frames are 'unbreakable' & lenses are 'scratch-proof'. He once told me that one of his patients came in utterly confused why the "medicine in his glasses no work anymore.". Wash and repeat every day during her admission.Afterwards I told my fiance. Radiographer here and had the ED doctor give me a request for soft tissue neck X-rays and the doctor was p much like "don't question it, just do it." Was doing my rounds and saw a high school teacher and was working a! Just the side table it full of shit, hips swaying I see to upvote your favorite funny recovery. 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